Old Fashioned On Purpose

86. How I "Do It All"

February 24, 2020 Jill Winger
Old Fashioned On Purpose
86. How I "Do It All"
Show Notes Transcript

Thanks to social media, I might appear to be some type of super woman.  The truth of the matter is, Instagram and Facebook posts never tell the full story no matter how transparent I try to be.  I’m able to “Do It All” because I’ve become extremely efficient with time management and have realized that I simply can’t do it all.  On today’s episode, I explain how things like finding help, saying no, and blocking time have enabled me to not only become super productive, but also free up more time in order to pursue other things that fill me up. 


Speaker 1:

Welcome to the old fashioned on purpose podcast. So today we are diving into another topic inspired by one of the questions I get all the time. And that is how on earth do you have time to homeschool and homestead and garden, cook from scratch, record this podcast, write a cookbook, run the businesses and not go crazy. So I have addressed this on a surface level, I think in different little videos or on social media in the past, but I kind of wanted to take a different approach to it today and dig in a little deeper. So if time management is something that interests you or maybe is on your list of goals of things to master for this year, keep listening. I'm your host Jill winger, and this is the podcast for those who are disenchanted with conformity, the ones who swim upstream, while the societal herd rides the river of least resistance, the ones who grow and shepherd, nurture and produce, need and craft rather than consume. The ones who are old fashioned on purpose and choose to truly live, not merely exist. If you're a trailblazer, a Maverick, a homesteader, a modern pioneer, or a backyard farmer, well you have found your tribe. Okay? So the very first thing I need to state very emphatically here is I do not do it all. I do not. And I am a huge fan of being transparent about that. I am so tired of this social media environment which has perpetuated this idea of super moms or people that have it all, do it all. Their lives are perfect. They never have sacrifice or hardship or tension. And I'm just so over that and I do not want to perpetuate that in any way, shape or form. So I want you to know I do not do it all, even if you think it may look like that from the outside. Here's the thing, pictures on Instagram or post on Facebook, never tell the full story. And two of the things that you may not see from what I post on social media or on the blog is that there are two pieces of my life that enable me to look like maybe from the outside I do it all. And those two things are, number one, I do hire help. So I've talked about this a little bit in the past, but I create more than 24 hours in my day by using the money I earned from my businesses to hire people that expands that timeframe for me. And that was one of the first objectives as I grew my business was how can I free up enough income to start hiring out tasks that will not only enable me to push my business forward, but also preserve my sanity and preserve energy for my family and my children and all the other things I need to do in my life. So, I have virtual assistants and they helped me post on Facebook and they help draft up blog posts sometimes. I have an editor for this podcast. I literally just record these episodes, I put them in Dropbox and he does the rest. I have a babysitter who comes two partial days a week and she is there in the house with the kids and I come out to the office and I hammer it out because I couldn't do what I do. Trying to mom and work on the computer at the same time. Triedt. It doesn't work. So I know better. And so I use a portion of the money I earned in the businesses to hire out tasks that expands my 24 hours. Okay. That is a big piece of it. And I know not everyone is in that situation, but that is what I have worked up to over the years. The second piece is that you, that you don't see on social media all the time, is that I opt out of a lot of things. There's just portions of typical mom life or typical homeschool mom life or whatever that we just don't do. There, you know, we don't do a ton of local play dates or social events. We do, I don't know how to say this, we, we don't do a lot of homeschool field trips in the traditional sense. Our life is kind of one big field trip and our kids get a lot of opportunities with our cattle in our homesteading and traveling with me and all those things. But the typical like homeschool field trips to the post office, we don't get to do a lot of those cause they don't usually line up with our schedule. So we opt out of those. I am really bad at birthday parties. Like I don't, don't throw elaborate birthday parties. So we do a homemade cake and some presentw and call it good. It's just not something I am drawn to. And my house isn't always perfectly clean. The laundry's done but not maybe folded like the KonMari method would want it to be folded. So there are definitely things I say no to in order for me to say yes to other stuff. Okay. So those are the two really important things I want you to understand. But on a more practical level, I wanted to go a little bit deeper cause I've talked about the things like I hire stuff out and I opt out of different activities. I've talked about that in the past a little bit, but I still keep getting this question, how are you doing what you're doing? How do you manage your time? So I wanted to dive in a little bit more deeply so you can get a more visual picture of how this works. And it really, honestly, this is more of a mindset than anything else. I don't really have a planner hack or a calendar trick. It's really just a mindset and a discipline that I've really developed over the years. So here, here are some of the pieces of that. So first off is you may have guessed, maybe not, but I do have, I like to call it a high capacity, for a busy or how do I say that? A high capacity for a full schedule. I have the ability to juggle multiple balls. Sometimes all the balls fall and crash to the ground and break. But there are times when I like a lot, I like to multitask. I like to have a lot of irons in the fire. It's just how I'm wired. It makes me happy. I'm a little bit hyper. A little people might call me type A. So I have those tendencies to begin with. But I hesitate to say that is like the only factor that enables me to do what I do because then it sounds like you have to be born with those traits in order to live the life you want to live. And I do not buy into that. Okay. I believe that anything that you are desiring that you feel called towards, you can develop the skills and the talents to help you be successful in those areas. I just don't buy into this thing that you have to be born with it in order to get what you want to have. So here's an example. I was really horribly, painfully shy as a kid. I had been told my whole life that I need to be more assertive, more aggressive, like whatever. And I have, even though that was my natural tendency as a child, I had been able to work through those things, work past those things to become the person I wanted to become or the person I was meant to become. So ultimately it is a choice. It's not a genetic thing. And I want you guys to really let that sink in. It's a choice, not genetics. Okay. Now a big part of my energy, a big part of what gets me up in the morning and makes me feel motivated and excited and have all this energy to get all these things done is that I love what I do. Like I enjoy my life. That doesn't mean every single day is this blissful, blissful, rainbow and butterflies thing. Cause there are definitely hard days, bad days, annoying days, you know, all just the normal stuff. But for the most part, I love what we do. I love homeschooling, I love homesteading, I love my businesses. And so it, when you are doing what you love, it automatically creates that motivation to keep going. And I have, I have had jobs in the past that I didn't love. And I know that when you're in that situation, your motivation level is in the toilet, right? So a big part of me feeling like I have a higher capacity and a higher drive is just cause I love what I do. So, I challenge you that if you are struggling with motivation and you're struggling with like, I just have to sludge through all of my days and I just can't just don't like it. Like, what are you doing that you shouldn't be doing? What are you doing out of obligation to make someone else happy or to check off a box that maybe you should examine and erase out of your to do list or a race from your schedule. And so, that was a huge turning point for me is examining the stories I was telling myself, examining the motivations behind things I was doing in the past that drug me down that did not feel in alignment with what I was supposed to be doing, cutting those out so I could free myself up to move on the mission that I feel called to do. So, I think that needs to get a lot of spotlight on it so you understand how that all works. Okay. And I do realize also, I don't want to make it sound like that's an easy process. That's a journey. It's an unpacking of layers and it is definitely easier said than done, but maybe this episode will be the catalyst to help you to start thinking of your to-do list in a different way. Okay. Another piece that enables me to do what I do is I have talked about this on a different episode and I meant to write down the number and I don't know what it is. I didn't write it down. So you're going to have to just go look back in the podcast library. It wasn't that long ago, but I did an episode on raising old fashioned kids and how our philosophy of children on the homestead works and I just don't entertain my kids 24-7. I don't, it's, we've never done it that way. They get time with me. We homeschooled them. Obviously I'm with them all day in the house other than when the babysitter's here for those two partial days. So we spend a lot of time together, but I'm not on the floor entertaining them. They are expected to entertain themselves, much like children from the, I don't know, 1950s would have been expected to entertain themselves. That doesn't mean we don't color or do puzzles occasionally or I'll sit down and play with them, but the majority of the time they're doing their own thing and they like doing their own thing. So when they're playing, exploring, pretending, I can cook, I can garden, I can do whatever. That frees up my time to be able to do that. And we're all happy, right? They're doing something they love. I'm doing something I love, win-win. Okay. The next piece is that I have learned and I, let's be honest, I'm still learning to say no. And I, and like I said a minute ago and I have to say no to the things that I'm not supposed to be doing that are not serving me or my family. So I can say a big giant yes to the things I need to be doing, the things I am supposed to be doing called to be doing. And here's the deal. No is not fun. I don't like saying no. I am a people pleaser. Maybe I would like to say I'm a recovering people pleaser. Yeah. I think I'll say that, I'm a recovering people pleaser, but it still is a strong pull on me. It's way more fun to say yes to something, even if you really don't want to do it, just because it makes the other person happy with you. Right. They're happy. Oh yay. You're in and you're like, Oh, I don't really want to be in, but at least you're happy with me. Like I've learned that's not a good motivation to say yes. And so, we say no to a lot. We're saying no to more. And I'm learning to only say yes to something when it's a heck yes when I am all in, not a okay or I suppose I can make that work. Yes. But when I am so outrageously excited about something, that's when I say yes. Otherwise it's a no, and I've experimented with this a lot in the past. I've done it in healthy ways, I've done it in unhealthy ways. Yeah, last year honestly I said yes to more than I should have. All of the things I said yes to were good opportunities, but they weren't the best opportunities. So just because something is good or could be mildly beneficial for you or your family or your business, doesn't always mean that you should say yes cause it doesn't always move the needle forward. It doesn't always warrant the time or the mental energy that will be expended into that activity. So this year I'm cutting out some traveling, I'm cutting out some events, I'm cutting out different business pieces that I've been asked to do. We're just trimming down and slimming down. So I can say more yesses to my family. I can say more yesses to just being on our homestead and living life and doing the things we love in the garden or with the horses or just being outside. And so that feels good. Most of the time, it doesn't always feel good right when you do it because people don't like it when you say no. And there's all these books and all, I've heard all these articles and podcasts about how awesome it is to say no. But one of the things they don't always tell you is people get a little put out with you sometimes when you say no. And you still have to just be able to sit in that tension and know that you're doing the right thing even if they're not thrilled with you. So, it's a journey. Me, it's what I'm still working on. I'm still learning to say no. I'm still learning to be okay with disappointing people if I need to do that in order to say yes to things that are higher priority and more important, but it's really necessary and it is a really important piece of how I'm able to do all the other things I love. All right. I think the last one here, and this is probably the biggest one, and this is a total mindset deal. This is something you have to choose to do. But I am extremely conscious of my time throughout the day. And let me explain what that means. On any given week I have each day planned out and let me explain that so you don't think I'm a psychopath. I don't have every like five minute block planned out, but I have every single day chunked out into blocks of time. Because time is extremely valuable to me, far more valuable than money and what I have done over the years, this has been a process to learn how to do this. And now it comes very naturally to me, but it didn't necessarily at the beginning, but I look at every block of time I have during the day and I see how I can maximize it. So here's an example. On a given day, like today, it's a Tuesday, I have my babysitter here. So we're in babysitter schedule mode. I get up at 6:30. I know from 6:30 to eight, it's chores, it's breakfast, it's cleaning up the kitchen and getting ready for school. And so during that time we stay super on task for those things. Eight o'clock comes around, we are at the table with the books open, we are doing school, and then we do school for several hours until the babysitter shows up. And we're very intentional during that period. I don't take phone calls, I don't work on other things. It's school time and school time only. Then when my babysitter comes, I know that she's going to take over, the kids will wrap up any last bits of school they have. And I come to the office and I do the same thing with my business work time. I block it out. So I know I'm going to have a a two hour chunk where I'm recording podcasts and then I'm going to have a two hour chunk where I'm working on a new project I'm getting ready to launch and I'll have a two hour chunk where I'm doing coaching calls with my coaching clients. And so I block it out. And when I'm in those blocks, like nothing else, like there could be a bomb go off next door and I don't care. I'm going to stay ultra ultra focused on what needs to happen during those blocks of time. And now the same goal. And I know some of you are thinking, Oh my gosh, that sounds horrible. I know not everyone thinks of time and schedules in the same way. I'm just telling you what I do and what works for me. I know to some of you that sounds like a fate worse than death, to have your days planned out like that, but it's how I roll. It's, it's honestly, that is the secret sauce. That is how I get everything done. And I even block out, like for example, last night we got through our day, supper was done, and we had this chunk of time after supper, before bedtime. So I, you know, we said for this hour, it's kid time. So we did games with the kids, we colored on the floor with the kids. And that was the time that I was super intentional about that face to face time with the kids. You know, that happens throughout the week in different ways, whether it's riding horses with the kids or working on a project with one of them or building Legos like, but I've just, that's a designated time. Now the one exception to my, my time blocking obsession are Sundays. So on Sundays that is our day of rest. And on a Sunday I will remove all of the structure. Like we're so structured during the rest of the week, the way we differentiate Sundays is there is no structure. We get up when we want, we eat when we want. And I purposely allow myself, this is sounds as like a negative connotation, but I don't know how else to say it. I allow myself to waste time on purpose. I dawdle, I linger, I stare at the wall, I read books, we nap, we'll watch a movie, I don't cook, we'll just do popcorn and smoothies or something really easy. I don't care what time it is, I don't care if it's lunchtime or supper time. We just, we just roll with life on Sundays and I love it. Like I do need a completely structure-free day once or twice a week. Like sometimes Saturdays will be similar, but Saturdays often have a project involved. But there have been times after a busy season where we'll do the same on Saturday and Sunday. But anyway, that's important to me after so much structure just to have a day that's just free form. So that has been a game changer for me. And I again, I know everyone handles schedules and time blocks different, but man, it sure works for us and it's a game changer. Now, one little piece of that that I think can cause people to get tripped up a little bit, is that when I hear folks complain about having a lack of time, or not being able to get everything done that they want to get done, and when I examine their schedules, I'm seeing a lot of their time being eaten up by interactions with other humans. And that's, this is like, this is a tough topic. This is a tricky topic because we have to be mindful and I have to remind myself all the time, you know, we cannot sacrifice healthy relationships or interaction or community or serving other people. We can't sacrifice that at the altar of the perfect schedule. But that's a tricky balance. So you know, when we're homeschooling, when I have a full day of homeschooling and a full day of work after homeschooling and everything is tightly packed into its little time blocks, if someone calls me up and said, Hey, I just want to swing by and hang out for a couple hours. Like honestly I have to say no to that. That doesn't work for us. And where I see a lot of folks who are trying to balance a lot of, juggle a lot of balls in the air when they get off track, it's usually because there's way too many impromptu socialization pieces happening in their week. And I get it, I know it's tricky. There's different personality types. Some of you are more wired towards connection and community. Some of you are more wired towards like me, task oriented, check off the list oriented. So you have to figure out the balance for you and for your family. But how we navigate this is we have blocks of time designated for people and for relationships and for i nteractions. So for us, a big piece of that a re, Friday nights we have a group of local families and couples that we absolutely adore. And Friday nights, you know, they're busy as well. We all get together though at least once a week, sometimes twice a week and just enjoy each other's company. We'll listen to different sermons on p odcast and we d iscuss the sermons and we eat food and we just hang out and our kids play. And I have Friday nights blocked out, that is our time to just enjoy our group and build the relationships. And that's not to say that we don't see them throughout the rest of the week and build relationships in other ways, but you know, once Friday at five o'clock rolls around, the to do list is not important. You know, people can stay or as long as they want or w e'll stay at their house for later into the evening and just enjoy and fellowship and create those bonds. And so, it's like I said, I, I've said i t like three times now. It's a balance, figuring out the balance of getting done what you need to get done and also building those relationships. But for us it is more about a designated time for each of those things. So anyway, that's my, I don't know if I call it secrets. That's what I do though. And that's what I've learned. And just a reminder, this is a process, right? You, if this is something you want to get better at, better management of your schedule and time blocking in discipline, all that, you kind of learn it in layers and you will learn to stretch your capacity. I remember being a first time mom with one little baby, no business, no nothing. Like life was so simple when I look back. But I truly believed to the depths of my soul that I was outrageously busy. I was maxed out. Man. I couldn't handle another thing. No one was as busy as I was. And I laugh when I look back at then compared to now because obviously we have 200% more in our life than we did then. But I've learned how to expand and stretch my comfort level and my capacity. And you can do the same. But it doesn't happen overnight, right? It's a process. Anyway, so that's my, that's what I do. So I'd love to hear what you do. How do you keep your life flowing? Do you have any other little tips or tricks? Definitely send them over to me in a quick DM on Instagram or Facebook. I would love to hear your thoughts. And that is it for this episode, my friend. Thank you so much for listening and remember that you can hit subscribe over on iTunes or on your favorite podcast player to get all the episodes coming straight to your phone on a weekly basis. So that's it for today, but I'll chat with you more in the next episode of the old fashioned on purpose podcast.